Eva Pascoe | Digital Retailer
  • Jul 12, 2020
  • Eva Pascoe
  • Comments Off on No wooming, lurking or slurping – [retail.bytes]
  • Retail Bytes, Writing

JioMeet zooms in

2.13mln downloads daily on Zoom and over 300mln users world-wide (March 2020) means we are now trapped in Zoomland for remote work for years to come. Or are we? New entrant JioMeet has launched a copy of Zoom but free and no limit on 40min only slots. Browser based, no need to download but no end-to-end encryption so probably best to try for social calls for now. It has captured 1mln users in the first week since launch so Indian owners are being tested on their hosting robustness. Give it a spin not least to marvel how little difference there is between Zoom and Jio. Cheap shot but good for the users, as no need to learn new navigation.

Volcan greetings

Minimum 3 to 4 Zoom calls per day is the number of times average exec spends on video calls. Oddly, we have not yet found a better way of ending the calls than with ‘wooming’  – very energetic hand wave to the camera that makes us all look like overexcited pre-schoolers on the day out (thx @billt for spotting). Try more grown-up benedictory sign of Vulcan greetings from Star Trek, meaning ‘live long and prosper’. Shakespeare coined it in Romeo & Juliet when Romeo says to Balthasar ‘Live and be prosperous, farewell good fellow’. What is good for the great poet is good for us, although we are open for suggestions from your own team how to replace frantic ‘wooming’  when blowing a kiss is a nono.

Facing off team lurkers

If a picture is worth 1000 words, then live stream of your face with your real-time reactions to what is said on Zoom meeting is worth at least 10,000. Keep the video camera on, rather than multitasking in the background and floating above like an office ghost. If everyone is on but one person is ‘lurking’ with no video feed, it interrupts the flow and makes others question if this call is actually important. We are all Zoomed out after 4 months of lockdown, but Zoom-tiquette is a must, team leaders need to ram it home to keep the meeting honest, focused and fair.

Are you a Zoom slurper?

Trapped between back-to-back Zooms, many of us grab a mug of tea or coffee to help to get through the meetings and not fall asleep.  Slurping tea is actually encouraged in many countries, as by slurping tea or coffee, you mix the tea with more oxygen in your mouth, inviting to pick up a lot more aroma. It is also cooling down the drink before it hits your sensitive tongue. Slurping is very common (and encouraged) in China.

However, on Zoom, with no Mute button on, it is excruciating for everyone on the call. It is up there with crunching on rice cakes or particularly hard apple. We made a pact to leave all food and drink out, but keep the meetings to 45min each so you can grab coffee in between.

Join us and find your meetings transformed!

Less is more – Email come back, all is forgiven!

Does your team hold Zoom meetings that are ‘follow-up’s to Zoom meetings?


If you can’t achieve your task in 45mins of Zoom, then you either called in the wrong people, or you were not prepared. Time on Zoom is cognitively tiring, “Zoom Fatique “ is a real thing as it breaks natural eye-contact when we stare at each other faces but camera does not allow eye-to-eye. Zoom is a sprint, not a marathon, so save everyone’s time and get a phone call or even better email to follow up.

Credit @JuniorAttorney

Next week – the apps that do your work, new review of personal efficiency apps that can turn you from a slacker into slicker!

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